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  • Organico to replace food bar with Subway kiosk

    Organico to replace food bar with Subway kiosk

    Trusted sources have informed Nosara Lately that Organico will close its doors for 24 hours on Christmas Day to carry out a complete rebranding of its hot food bar. Sources tell us that the food bar will re-emerge as a fully branded Subway kiosk, similar to what one finds out past gate 20 or 30

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  • Magic Cookie Butter Crosses Over, Howler Population Explodes

    Magic Cookie Butter Crosses Over, Howler Population Explodes

    For months now, the steady increase in the local howler population has supplied area residents with the feel-good story we all needed. The catastrophic decline in the local DJ population over the past months has left many of us despondent and psychologically unmoored. Alcohol sales have increased, personal massage numbers are up, and several we

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  • Shanti Moonwater Special Report: Tuk-Tuk Hunk

    Shanti Moonwater Special Report: Tuk-Tuk Hunk

    By now, everybody knows who Tuk-Tuk Hunk is. I had been seeing him for months. At La bomba. At the Main entrance. Heading up the hill into Las Huacas. No tank top. His chest professionally oiled, forever just coming from a photoshoot – or – A Tuk-Tuk Hunk booking. On Tuk-Tuk-Hunk.com, his boyish looks and

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  • Major Architectural Award to ‘Become Nosara’

    Major Architectural Award to ‘Become Nosara’

    ‘Become Nosara’, Nosara’s beloved Area-51 themed living complex, was yesterday awarded the prestigious Concrete Building Visible from Space (CBVS) award at the annual Comcon conference in Los Angeles.  Previous winners of the prize have included a football stadium in Brazil, a phosphorus mine in Western Sahara, and the seawall along the Thames, in central London.

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  • White Palms to become even more upscale and exclusive

    White Palms to become even more upscale and exclusive

    White Palms will begin construction next week of an experimental holographic jungle barrier that will completely conceal the upscale hotel. “You will really have to be in the know,” said managing director Giselle Cruz Peña. “The technology has finally caught up with our marketing strategy.” For several years now, White Palms has led the trend

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  • K-Section Gem: 25 Beds, 1 Toilet, No Shower

    K-Section Gem: 25 Beds, 1 Toilet, No Shower

    Pressured by Del Mar tuitions, truck payments, and rising poke prices, local realtors have been scrambling to find new income streams to tide them over until 2036, when JD Vance will finish his second term and the local real estate market is expected to finally bounce back. Leading the way – as usual – is

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  • I Paid 45$ to Touch Kyle Mitchri’s Chest Hair.

    I Paid 45$ to Touch Kyle Mitchri’s Chest Hair.

    And – spoiler alert – I booked a follow-up. Nosara Lately Consumer Report: The Kyle Mitchri Experience For many months now, whispers have swirled through Nosara about the Kyle Mitchri Chest Hair Experience – regarded as perhaps the hottest ticket in Nosara’s extensive Spiritual Marketplace. Both women and men have described the mini-sessions as “beyond

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  • Black Box Rebrands to Pink Box

    Black Box Rebrands to Pink Box

    The residents of North Guiones awoke yesterday morning to find their beloved local high-end 4×4 dealership, Black Box transformed into Pink Box – the luxury sex toy and vagina-scented candle boutique that North Guiones has long been demanding. Few imagined that it would be Gwyneth Paltrow herself who would answer their calls. Gwyneth Paltrow herself

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  • Headshop Lawyer Adds “5-Minute Divorce”

    Headshop Lawyer Adds “5-Minute Divorce”

    Headshop Lawyer – top-rated locally on TripAdvisor for immigration papers, smoking accessories, and Delta 9 gummies – has now added a “5 Minute Express Divorce” package to her deep bench of legal and smoke-related products, noting that the “5 minutes” applies to qualified clients only. “That’s pretty much anyone who is building a house in

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