Local News

  • ICE to withdraw completely from Guanacaste

    ICE to withdraw completely from Guanacaste

    Nosara Lately has learned from well-placed sources that ICE is planning to cease all operations and withdraw completely from Guanacaste. “It’s a hellhole,” said one senior management figure. “I don’t know how we ever got into this place. It’s like Afghanistan.But worse.” Many ICE employees in Guanacaste have not seen their families since the rains

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  • Dueling Gondolas: Casa Vitality Strikes Back

    Dueling Gondolas: Casa Vitality Strikes Back

    Shockwaves rolled through the Nosara community yesterday when the news emerged that Casa Vitality is now backing an alternative Gondola plan that omits Bodhi Tree altogether. Local business heavyweights El Chivo, Howlers, and Olo Alaia  have all thrown their weight behind the new proposal from Casa Vitality, pledging to build the necessary mid-stations that will

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  • ‘Del Mar Mom’ Brings Surge Pricing to Nosara

    ‘Del Mar Mom’ Brings Surge Pricing to Nosara

    Del Mar Mom – a surge pricing app for local tuk-tuk drivers and cleaning ladies launched two weeks ago on the App Store –  and has absolutely caught fire locally, with nearly eighty percent of all local Tuk-Tuk drivers and cleaning ladies reporting that they use the app daily. During yesterday’s torrential rains and flooding,

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  • Paltrow Deal Collapses, Burnham Vanishes, Local Children in Tears

    Paltrow Deal Collapses, Burnham Vanishes, Local Children in Tears

    Word began to spread through Guiones last night that all was not well with Gwynneth Paltrow’s landmark purchase of Surfing Nosara. By dawn, the four-million-dollar deal was in flames. We begin our reporting with a quick summary of overnight developments: Given the dizzying speed of these developments, Nosara Lately does not intend to speculate –

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  • United Nations gives Provisional Recognition to Beautiful Nosara Fam

    United Nations gives Provisional Recognition to Beautiful Nosara Fam

    The UN Committee on Indigenous Cultures announced yesterday that provisional recognition and protected status has been bestowed upon Guanacaste’s most well-known indigenous tribe, the Beautiful Nosara Fam. “Seen through the eyes of a cultural anthropologist, the Beautiful Nosara Fam is truly a modern indigenous group, native in every sense of the word, said Bjorn Thunquist,

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  • Bodhi Tree Bombshell: “Ceibo is the Jim Jones of K-Section”

    Bodhi Tree Bombshell: “Ceibo is the Jim Jones of K-Section”

    Bodhi Tree leveled serious accusations at beloved local sound healer Ceibo today, saying that their new AirTagging system shows “beyond any doubt” that nearly all of their guests who get “lost” on the way to the beach actually end up at Ceibo’s house in K-Section. “It’s unbelievable,” said Bodhi’s AirTag Project Leader, Geiner Solano Duarte,

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  • Board scanner in place at Baker entrance

    Board scanner in place at Baker entrance

    The mood was cheerful and light at the Baker entrance this morning as area surfers had their first encounter with the new NCA board scanning machine. Our alert readers will recall that the Nosara Conservation Alliance (NCA) last month – after nearly 12 years of research – finally identified coconut surf wax as the main

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  • Catastrophic Decline: Only 400 DJs Left in Nosara

    Catastrophic Decline: Only 400 DJs Left in Nosara

    The United Nations Subcommittee on Indigenous Cultures voted in a special emergency session yesterday to add the last 400 DJs in Nosara to the UN Watchlist of Endangered Native Populations, saying at a press conference that Nosara’s once-thriving DJ population “is under attack from all sides.” The sale of Perozah in Garza – a hallowed

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  • Gwynneth Paltrow Buys Surfing Nosara Media Empire

    Gwynneth Paltrow Buys Surfing Nosara Media Empire

    Nosarans woke this morning to the surreal news that Gwynneth Paltrow has bought both the Surfing Nosara building and the Rich Burnham media empire, consisting of Rich Burnham Podcast, This Week in Nosara, and Bearded Guy does Surf Check. Details are still emerging, but sources within Surfing Nosara have confirmed the following: The Surfing Nosara

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