Local News

  • Bodhi Tree Unveils Bold Plan to Air Tag All Guests

    Bodhi Tree Unveils Bold Plan to Air Tag All Guests

    Bodhi Tree announced today that beginning next month, they intend to AirTag all of their guests in a bold attempt to solve the persistent and somewhat embarrassing problem that nearly 30% of Bodhi Tree guests get lost while walking to the beach.  Many of these guests simply never come back – a situation that confuses

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  • Jaime Anton Strikes Back

    Jaime Anton Strikes Back

    Stung by the hack of ‘Del Mar Moms’, local coder and feared white-hat OG Jaime Anton struck back hard this morning, releasing “Area Man” – a new app that lets area residents avoid well-known Area Man Kenny McTavish. “I was so tired of running into him, ” said Jaime. “And then Maggie said to me

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  • Perozah to Become Conference Center

    Perozah to Become Conference Center

    In a move sure to disrupt the traditional full-moon celebrations of local indigenous tribes, Outpost Nosara has purchased both Perozah and Alex’s Fish Market in Garza. Perozah will be renamed the “Garza International Trade and Conference Center”, while Alex’s name will remain unchanged. “It’s a big day for both organizations,” said Brad Johannson, CEO of

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  • Controversy swirls around proposed Gondola midstation

    Controversy swirls around proposed Gondola midstation

    Nosarans awoke today to a firestorm of overnight developments in the Bodhi Tree Gondola drama, after news broke of a proposed midstation at Casa Vitality that would involve re-routing the current road through Guiones Beach Club.  Alert readers will have noticed that the Nosara Lately website was under heavy DDOS attack last night, noticeably reducing

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  • Prominent Nosara Lawyer Sues Entire Country

    Prominent Nosara Lawyer Sues Entire Country

    Legendary local attorney Andrés González yesterday filed suit against the entire nation of Costa Rica, charging that  Costa Rica has ‘delayed long enough’ the inevitable switch to English as Costa Rica’s national language. In a masterfully written seven page brief to the Supreme Court, arguing on behalf of local sour-ass K-Section guy Kenneth Mctavish, the

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  • Burnham Emerges From Jungle, Tells His Story

    Burnham Emerges From Jungle, Tells His Story

    Nosara Lately can now confirm that Rich Burnham – beloved host of Bearded Guy Checks the Surf and dude-who-fucked-up-the-four-million-dollar-Paltrow deal   –  has emerged from the jungle unharmed, and has now told his story. Allow us to set the scene, gentle reader. We were sitting in the luxurious underground bunker beneath the Nosara police station this

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  • Guiones Tidepools: NCA Turtle Detection Program Begins

    Guiones Tidepools: NCA Turtle Detection Program Begins

    The new NCA program to regulate and monetize the Guiones tidepools got off to a smooth start yesterday, with nearly 100 tourists accessing the tidepools under the NCA’s new Turtle-Safe Tidepool Experience program. When we stopped by the Baker entrance yesterday, tidepool visitors were assembling just past the board scanning machine, before being escorted towards

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  • Bodhi Tree Bombshell: “Ceibo is the Jim Jones of K-Section”

    Bodhi Tree Bombshell: “Ceibo is the Jim Jones of K-Section”

    Bodhi Tree leveled serious accusations at beloved local sound healer Ceibo today, saying that their new AirTagging system shows “beyond any doubt” that nearly all of their guests who get “lost” on the way to the beach actually end up at Ceibo’s house in K-Section. “It’s unbelievable,” said Bodhi’s AirTag Project Leader, Geiner Solano Duarte,

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  • United Nations gives Provisional Recognition to Beautiful Nosara Fam

    United Nations gives Provisional Recognition to Beautiful Nosara Fam

    The UN Committee on Indigenous Cultures announced yesterday that provisional recognition and protected status has been bestowed upon Guanacaste’s most well-known indigenous tribe, the Beautiful Nosara Fam. “Seen through the eyes of a cultural anthropologist, the Beautiful Nosara Fam is truly a modern indigenous group, native in every sense of the word, said Bjorn Thunquist,

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