Local News

  • Between Two Palms: Conspiracy Edition

    Between Two Palms: Conspiracy Edition

    NL:  Hi everyone, glad you could make it. Today, we are going to be breaking down all the strange things that have been going on lately in Nosara, so we invited two of Nosara’s best-known conspiracy theorists in for a chat: Juan, the bartender at Howlers, and Pura Vida Andy. Juan, I know I saw

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  • Price of avocados at Organico dips briefly

    Price of avocados at Organico dips briefly

    Alert K-Section residents were quick to take advantage of the situation yesterday when the price of avocados dipped briefly at beloved local market Organico. The reason for the price drop was unknown. Some speculated a mistake had been made on the sign. Others saw deeper forces at play, muttering about a certain area hotel and

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  • Consumer Report: The Latrisha Yoni Steam Temple

    Consumer Report: The Latrisha Yoni Steam Temple

    I have to be honest with my readers. When told I was being sent out to test Latishas Yoni Steam Temple, Nosara’s ultimate Yoni experience – my emotions were mixed. As a Paltrow-certified Yoni Steam Practitioner myself, I looked forward to an impartial, professional reconnaissance. But as a sexually evolved woman with a deep appreciation

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  • K-Section Gem: 25 Beds, 1 Toilet, No Shower

    K-Section Gem: 25 Beds, 1 Toilet, No Shower

    Pressured by Del Mar tuitions, truck payments, and rising poke prices, local realtors have been scrambling to find new income streams to tide them over until 2036, when JD Vance will finish his second term and the local real estate market is expected to finally bounce back. Leading the way – as usual – is

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  • Black Box Rebrands to Pink Box

    Black Box Rebrands to Pink Box

    The residents of North Guiones awoke yesterday morning to find their beloved local high-end 4×4 dealership, Black Box transformed into Pink Box – the luxury sex toy and vagina-scented candle boutique that North Guiones has long been demanding. Few imagined that it would be Gwyneth Paltrow herself who would answer their calls. Gwyneth Paltrow herself

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  • I Paid 45$ to Touch Kyle Mitchri’s Chest Hair.

    I Paid 45$ to Touch Kyle Mitchri’s Chest Hair.

    And – spoiler alert – I booked a follow-up. Nosara Lately Consumer Report: The Kyle Mitchri Experience For many months now, whispers have swirled through Nosara about the Kyle Mitchri Chest Hair Experience – regarded as perhaps the hottest ticket in Nosara’s extensive Spiritual Marketplace. Both women and men have described the mini-sessions as “beyond

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  • Lobo To Lead Redesign of Alex’s Fish Market

    Lobo To Lead Redesign of Alex’s Fish Market

    Highly regarded Nosara design firm Lobo confirmed today that they have been chosen for the prestigious redesign of Alex’s Fish Market, one of the most beloved and authentic landmarks in Garza – and soon to be the only remaining authentic spot in Garza. As Nosara Lately reported last week, the recent Outpost Nosara purchase of

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  • Morphic Field Speaks Out

    Morphic Field Speaks Out

    Stung by the negative press coverage of its Impending Arrival in Guiones, the Morphic Field reached out to Nosara Lately yesterday afternoon with a request for a sit-down, hoping to clear the air. “We feel misunderstood”, said the Morphic Field. These words drifted up to us slowly through the liquid of our large black Magic

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  • NCA to establish plant medicine school in Pelada

    NCA to establish plant medicine school in Pelada

    It has not been lost on most of our faithful readers that plant medicine seems to be the new yoga here in Nosara – and clearly this has not been lost on the Nosara Conservation Alliance (NCA). Nosara Lately can now report that the NCA has decided to establish a Plant Medicine School in the

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