Nosara Style

  • Tuesday market in Guiones considers adding estatic dance

    Tuesday market in Guiones considers adding estatic dance

    Estatic dance has taken the Nosara community by storm, crossing all cultural boundaries and giving everyone the opportunity to dance like no one is looking. Coincidentally, this is one of the main rules of ecstatic dance: you are not supposed to look at anyone. Our well-educated reader base will know what we mean. Nosara Lately

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  • Area man baffled by estatic dancing

    Area man baffled by estatic dancing

    Local OG resident Kenneth Mactavish was overheard at Howlers this weekend being negative and judgmental about ecstatic dancing. “They do this on Sunday morning ….? Who wants to go dancing on a Sunday morning? I mean, what’s that all about, really?” Several companions nodded agreeably, secretly relieved that Kenny wasn’t talking again about how Nosara

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  • New Taco truck serves only Instragram posts, no tacos

    New Taco truck serves only Instragram posts, no tacos

    Nosara welcomed its 14th taco truck this week, this one vowing to draw a crowd that was even younger, more beautiful, and more scantily clad than any of its 13 competitors. “That’s what it’s all about,” said transplanted San Diego native and owner, Tai Sundance. “The lifestyle.” He continued, “We won’t even be selling tacos,

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  • Local hotel to beome ICE detention facility

    Local hotel to beome ICE detention facility

    Everyone who lives in this town knows the rainy season can be economically challenging. Nosara Lately can now confirm recent rumors that an unidentified local hotel will indeed be converted to an ICE detention facility during next year’s rainy season, adding valuable jobs and income to Nosara during those critical months. “It’s a natural fit

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  • Area woman spotted in loose fitting clothing

    Area woman spotted in loose fitting clothing

    Nosara Lately has received reports that an area woman was seen wearing loose, non-revealing clothing at least twice this week. Details are hard to come by, and journalistic norms prevent us from revealing her identity. But Nosara Lately can confirm that the clothing in question was a pair of grey sweatpants. “It’s just so gross,”

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  • Catastrophic Decline: Only 400 DJs Left in Nosara

    Catastrophic Decline: Only 400 DJs Left in Nosara

    The United Nations Subcommittee on Indigenous Cultures voted in a special emergency session yesterday to add the last 400 DJs in Nosara to the UN Watchlist of Endangered Native Populations, saying at a press conference that Nosara’s once-thriving DJ population “is under attack from all sides.” The sale of Perozah in Garza – a hallowed

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  • Pedestrian tunnel to connect Organico, Cafe de Paris

    Pedestrian tunnel to connect Organico, Cafe de Paris

    Unexplained explosions near downtown Guiones over the last several weeks have sparked concern among local residents, but the cause has now been identified. Sources in the local business community have confirmed that work is underway on an underground pedestrian mall that will link Organico and Café de Paris. “Our employees were simply risking too much

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  • Gondola Naming Contest Triggers Culture War

    Gondola Naming Contest Triggers Culture War

    A culture war has erupted in Guiones over the naming of the new UN-funded gondola that will link K-Section to Pelada, with stops at Olo Alaia, Howlers, and El Chivos. A light-hearted contest to name the Gondola is rapidly turning into a referendum on the very soul of this town. Casa Vitality, the original driving

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  • K-section man blocks last remaining rainy season passage between Bakers and Main

    K-section man blocks last remaining rainy season passage between Bakers and Main

    The rainy season is showing no mercy this year, and Local K-Section resident and easily irritated man Charles Lumwaft is showing none either. The road between Baker’s and Main is now nearly impassable, with the famous 100-meter-long lake halfway along the way being the well-known main challenge. A lone, barely visible high spot in the

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