Magazine

  • Consumer Report: The Latrisha Yoni Steam Temple

    Consumer Report: The Latrisha Yoni Steam Temple

    I have to be honest with my readers. When told I was being sent out to test Latishas Yoni Steam Temple, Nosara’s ultimate Yoni experience – my emotions were mixed. As a Paltrow-certified Yoni Steam Practitioner myself, I looked forward to an impartial, professional reconnaissance. But as a sexually evolved woman with a deep appreciation

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  • K-Section Gem: 25 Beds, 1 Toilet, No Shower

    K-Section Gem: 25 Beds, 1 Toilet, No Shower

    Pressured by Del Mar tuitions, truck payments, and rising poke prices, local realtors have been scrambling to find new income streams to tide them over until 2036, when JD Vance will finish his second term and the local real estate market is expected to finally bounce back. Leading the way – as usual – is

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  • Headshop Lawyer Adds “5-Minute Divorce”

    Headshop Lawyer Adds “5-Minute Divorce”

    Headshop Lawyer – top-rated locally on TripAdvisor for immigration papers, smoking accessories, and Delta 9 gummies – has now added a “5 Minute Express Divorce” package to her deep bench of legal and smoke-related products, noting that the “5 minutes” applies to qualified clients only. “That’s pretty much anyone who is building a house in

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  • Between Two Palms: Conspiracy Edition

    Between Two Palms: Conspiracy Edition

    NL:  Hi everyone, glad you could make it. Today, we are going to be breaking down all the strange things that have been going on lately in Nosara, so we invited two of Nosara’s best-known conspiracy theorists in for a chat: Juan, the bartender at Howlers, and Pura Vida Andy. Juan, I know I saw

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  • Area Man Finishes Telling About his 29th Year

    Area Man Finishes Telling About his 29th Year

    Beloved local guy Henry Chapman finally wrapped up the story of his 29th year this last Friday night, with the final minutes of 1985 being quietly related to two girls from Tamarindo as they sat by the fire on the beach outside Perozah. The two girls, uncertain of what they had just experienced for the

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  • Magic Cookie Butter Crosses Over, Howler Population Explodes

    Magic Cookie Butter Crosses Over, Howler Population Explodes

    For months now, the steady increase in the local howler population has supplied area residents with the feel-good story we all needed. The catastrophic decline in the local DJ population over the past months has left many of us despondent and psychologically unmoored. Alcohol sales have increased, personal massage numbers are up, and several we

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  • Area woman spotted in loose fitting clothing

    Area woman spotted in loose fitting clothing

    Nosara Lately has received reports that an area woman was seen wearing loose, non-revealing clothing at least twice this week. Details are hard to come by, and journalistic norms prevent us from revealing her identity. But Nosara Lately can confirm that the clothing in question was a pair of grey sweatpants. “It’s just so gross,”

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  • Morphic Field Speaks Out

    Morphic Field Speaks Out

    Stung by the negative press coverage of its Impending Arrival in Guiones, the Morphic Field reached out to Nosara Lately yesterday afternoon with a request for a sit-down, hoping to clear the air. “We feel misunderstood”, said the Morphic Field. These words drifted up to us slowly through the liquid of our large black Magic

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  • White Palms to become even more upscale and exclusive

    White Palms to become even more upscale and exclusive

    White Palms will begin construction next week of an experimental holographic jungle barrier that will completely conceal the upscale hotel. “You will really have to be in the know,” said managing director Giselle Cruz Peña. “The technology has finally caught up with our marketing strategy.” For several years now, White Palms has led the trend

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