Local News

  • ICE to begin rolling blackouts in K-section

    ICE to begin rolling blackouts in K-section

    Nosara Lately has learned from well-placed sources within ICE that rolling blackouts in K-Section will be ICE’s new tool for combating the frequent power outages in Nosara. “It’s only fair,” said ICE spokesperson and Nicoya municipal council member Yolian Ortiz Solano. “K-Section people are richer than everyone else. And they are mostly never here anyhow.”

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  • Tuesday market to be half-heartedly outlawed again

    Tuesday market to be half-heartedly outlawed again

    Area cacao merchants and organic food stands are relaying the news to each other that local police will again half-heartedly attempt to shut down the Tuesday market in Guiones next week, before disappearing completely for the next few months. “That’s fine, I needed to go see my friends in Tempe for a week,” said local

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  • Instagram posts from Maritime Zone will be monitored, fined.

    Instagram posts from Maritime Zone will be monitored, fined.

    Nosara Lately has learned that the Nosara Conservation Alliance (NCA) intends to monitor and fine beachgoers who send Instagram posts from Guiones beach at sunset.  As most locals know, the NCA has been empowered by hidden forces that no one understands to cleanse the Maritime Zone of all non-turtle-related activity. “Over the last six months,

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  • Beach Frog Will Not Rebrand as Denny’s, actually

    Beach Frog Will Not Rebrand as Denny’s, actually

    The iconic Beach Frog lashed out at Nosara Lately today, saying that “there is no chance in hell”  that The Frog will be rebranded as a Denny’s restaurant. Threatening that their Dad would beat us up if we didn’t take it all back, they told us to retract our story  –  because you know,  Everyone

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  • Poor water quality at Bakers linked to longboard wax

    Poor water quality at Bakers linked to longboard wax

    A troubling new twist in the Baker Beach water quality saga took place today when the Nosara Conservation Association (NCA) revealed in a press conference that longboard wax has been determined to be the main cause of pollution in the ocean off Bakers. This startling development upends over a decade of established local wisdom that

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  • Area man says he got here before everyone else

    Area man says he got here before everyone else

    Kenneth Mactavish, well-known local surfer and sour-ass old guy, repeated his assertion last week that he got here before everyone else. “I remember how it was,” he said. “You would not recognize it. It used to take four days to get from Garza to the Guilded Iguana. There was a big rock in the middle

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  • Speed cameras to be installed in K-Section

    Speed cameras to be installed in K-Section

    Reports from trusted sources indicate to Nosara Lately that speed cameras will be installed in K-Section, some as soon as this December. Or possibly a couple of years from now. Local K-Section residents contacted for comment had mixed opinions. “It’s about damn time,” said one famously grumpy B&B owner, known throughout K-Section for the Omaha

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  • K-Section loses cultural fixture

    K-Section loses cultural fixture

    Many of our faithful readers have long wondered why K-Section gets coated in molasses all dry season long, while North Guiones turns into a dusty Algerian hellhole.  Nosara Lately can now confirm that a brazen operation by the Nosara Police in cooperation with the Nosara Conservation Alliance (NCA) has located the missing North Guoines molasses

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  • Pelada to use windmills against dengue

    Pelada to use windmills against dengue

    Peladans will go to the polls this week to decide whether three large windmills should be built in low-lying areas near Olgas. The proposed windmills would increase the airflow across lower Pelada, and with the increased airflow and turbulence induced by the traditional Dutch blades, both biting and fornicating opportunities for local mosquitoes are expected

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