Local News

  • “Out with Buddha, in with Joe.”

    “Out with Buddha, in with Joe.”

    Area Buddhists awoke this morning to the bewildering news that the much-beloved Nosara Zen Center will be rebranding into a Platinum-Level Joe Dispenza Meditation Center – one of only 550 such centers worldwide. Nosara Lately stopped in at the Zen Center this morning and can confirm to our readers that the rebrand is well underway.

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  • Become Nosara Battles Paranormal Forces

    Become Nosara Battles Paranormal Forces

    For nearly a year now, rumors of paranormal activity have swirled around Become Nosara, the Area 51-themed living complex just south of Guiones. Yesterday, hard evidence suddenly emerged. El Favorito door guard Héctor Sandoval Cerdas, who lives directly across the national road from Become Nosara, received a Ring door camera from his cousin Jose as

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  • Controversy swirls around proposed Gondola midstation

    Controversy swirls around proposed Gondola midstation

    Nosarans awoke today to a firestorm of overnight developments in the Bodhi Tree Gondola drama, after news broke of a proposed midstation at Casa Vitality that would involve re-routing the current road through Guiones Beach Club.  Alert readers will have noticed that the Nosara Lately website was under heavy DDOS attack last night, noticeably reducing

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  • Burnham Emerges From Jungle, Tells His Story

    Burnham Emerges From Jungle, Tells His Story

    Nosara Lately can now confirm that Rich Burnham – beloved host of Bearded Guy Checks the Surf and dude-who-fucked-up-the-four-million-dollar-Paltrow deal   –  has emerged from the jungle unharmed, and has now told his story. Allow us to set the scene, gentle reader. We were sitting in the luxurious underground bunker beneath the Nosara police station this

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  • Free K-Section rebels block road, list demands

    Free K-Section rebels block road, list demands

    The rebel flags of Free K-Section – with their Starlink logo and Whatsapp chat q-code – were fluttering in the wind yesterday when Nosara Lately was granted access to the newly established rebel enclave near El Bosque. Toyota pickups with surf racks and barrels of molasses were parked menacingly near several orange traffic cones that

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  • Jaime Anton Strikes Back

    Jaime Anton Strikes Back

    Stung by the hack of ‘Del Mar Moms’, local coder and feared white-hat OG Jaime Anton struck back hard this morning, releasing “Area Man” – a new app that lets area residents avoid well-known Area Man Kenny McTavish. “I was so tired of running into him, ” said Jaime. “And then Maggie said to me

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  • Outpost Nosara launches ‘Outpost Basic’

    Outpost Nosara launches ‘Outpost Basic’

    Outpost Nosara announced yesterday the launch of ‘Outpost Basic’, a stripped-down alternative for remote workers who don’t require air conditioning or stable internet. At a mere $4k annual membership fee, the new offering features dedicated barstools at La Ventanita with wifi coming from across the street. Early users have described the wi-fi signal as “pretty

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  • Bondi Targets Nosara in Press Conference

    Bondi Targets Nosara in Press Conference

    In a bizarre turn of events at a Washington DC press conference yesterday, strangely hot MAGA chick and US Attorney General Pamela Bondi listed Nosara – along with Chicago, Portland, Los Angeles, and 15 other cities –  as an Out of Control Hellhole where People Eat Dogs. (OCHPED) The OCHPED designation is significant: so far,

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  • Bodhi Tree Bombshell: “Ceibo is the Jim Jones of K-Section”

    Bodhi Tree Bombshell: “Ceibo is the Jim Jones of K-Section”

    Bodhi Tree leveled serious accusations at beloved local sound healer Ceibo today, saying that their new AirTagging system shows “beyond any doubt” that nearly all of their guests who get “lost” on the way to the beach actually end up at Ceibo’s house in K-Section. “It’s unbelievable,” said Bodhi’s AirTag Project Leader, Geiner Solano Duarte,

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