Local News

  • Bodhi Tree Bombshell: “Ceibo is the Jim Jones of K-Section”

    Bodhi Tree Bombshell: “Ceibo is the Jim Jones of K-Section”

    Bodhi Tree leveled serious accusations at beloved local sound healer Ceibo today, saying that their new AirTagging system shows “beyond any doubt” that nearly all of their guests who get “lost” on the way to the beach actually end up at Ceibo’s house in K-Section. “It’s unbelievable,” said Bodhi’s AirTag Project Leader, Geiner Solano Duarte,

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  • UN backs Casa Vitality Gondola with 2M USD

    UN backs Casa Vitality Gondola with 2M USD

    Nosarans awoke this morning to yet another mind-bending development in the local Gondola war between Bodhi Tree and the grass-roots business alliance assembled by Casa Vitality. Our correspondent in Brussels filed this report over telegram, due to yesterday’s 5.9 earthquake that cut Nosara off from the outside world. BEGIN  UN pledges 200 million to Casa

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  • Prominent Nosara Lawyer Sues Entire Country

    Prominent Nosara Lawyer Sues Entire Country

    Legendary local attorney Andrés González yesterday filed suit against the entire nation of Costa Rica, charging that  Costa Rica has ‘delayed long enough’ the inevitable switch to English as Costa Rica’s national language. In a masterfully written seven page brief to the Supreme Court, arguing on behalf of local sour-ass K-Section guy Kenneth Mctavish, the

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  • Bondi Targets Nosara in Press Conference

    Bondi Targets Nosara in Press Conference

    In a bizarre turn of events at a Washington DC press conference yesterday, strangely hot MAGA chick and US Attorney General Pamela Bondi listed Nosara – along with Chicago, Portland, Los Angeles, and 15 other cities –  as an Out of Control Hellhole where People Eat Dogs. (OCHPED) The OCHPED designation is significant: so far,

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  • Controversy swirls around proposed Gondola midstation

    Controversy swirls around proposed Gondola midstation

    Nosarans awoke today to a firestorm of overnight developments in the Bodhi Tree Gondola drama, after news broke of a proposed midstation at Casa Vitality that would involve re-routing the current road through Guiones Beach Club.  Alert readers will have noticed that the Nosara Lately website was under heavy DDOS attack last night, noticeably reducing

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  • Outpost Nosara launches ‘Outpost Basic’

    Outpost Nosara launches ‘Outpost Basic’

    Outpost Nosara announced yesterday the launch of ‘Outpost Basic’, a stripped-down alternative for remote workers who don’t require air conditioning or stable internet. At a mere $4k annual membership fee, the new offering features dedicated barstools at La Ventanita with wifi coming from across the street. Early users have described the wi-fi signal as “pretty

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  • Panic in Guiones as Morphic Field Approaches

    Panic in Guiones as Morphic Field Approaches

    The mood in downtown Guiones grew increasingly chaotic today as area residents and local business owners rushed to prepare for an oncoming Morphic Field event. Plywood sheets were going up on the windows at Surfing Nosara. A Pura Vida property management truck was being edged into place to protect the Pharmacy.  The National Rental Car

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  • United Nations gives Provisional Recognition to Beautiful Nosara Fam

    United Nations gives Provisional Recognition to Beautiful Nosara Fam

    The UN Committee on Indigenous Cultures announced yesterday that provisional recognition and protected status has been bestowed upon Guanacaste’s most well-known indigenous tribe, the Beautiful Nosara Fam. “Seen through the eyes of a cultural anthropologist, the Beautiful Nosara Fam is truly a modern indigenous group, native in every sense of the word, said Bjorn Thunquist,

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  • Local surf school succeeds in branding over 90% of recent 6-day school

    Local surf school succeeds in branding over 90% of recent 6-day school

    The champagne was flowing when Nosara Lately visited Thoughtful Surfing, the local surf school for thoughtful surfers. A true milestone had been reached: Thoughtful Surfing had succeeded in branding just over 90% of a recent 6-day surf school. “It’s just amazing,” gushed owner Carol Lee Turner.  “The Instagram content from the school actually exceeded the

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