Local News

  • Bondi Targets Nosara in Press Conference

    Bondi Targets Nosara in Press Conference

    In a bizarre turn of events at a Washington DC press conference yesterday, strangely hot MAGA chick and US Attorney General Pamela Bondi listed Nosara – along with Chicago, Portland, Los Angeles, and 15 other cities –  as an Out of Control Hellhole where People Eat Dogs. (OCHPED) The OCHPED designation is significant: so far,

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  • Bodhi Tree Bombshell: “Ceibo is the Jim Jones of K-Section”

    Bodhi Tree Bombshell: “Ceibo is the Jim Jones of K-Section”

    Bodhi Tree leveled serious accusations at beloved local sound healer Ceibo today, saying that their new AirTagging system shows “beyond any doubt” that nearly all of their guests who get “lost” on the way to the beach actually end up at Ceibo’s house in K-Section. “It’s unbelievable,” said Bodhi’s AirTag Project Leader, Geiner Solano Duarte,

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  • Gwynneth Paltrow Buys Surfing Nosara Media Empire

    Gwynneth Paltrow Buys Surfing Nosara Media Empire

    Nosarans woke this morning to the surreal news that Gwynneth Paltrow has bought both the Surfing Nosara building and the Rich Burnham media empire, consisting of Rich Burnham Podcast, This Week in Nosara, and Bearded Guy does Surf Check. Details are still emerging, but sources within Surfing Nosara have confirmed the following: The Surfing Nosara

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  • Del Mar adds Organ Donation as payment option

    Del Mar adds Organ Donation as payment option

    Seeking to accommodate struggling local parents, Del Mar Academy has added organ donation to its list of payment options. “Eventually, parents will be able to use this option to fund other parts of the Del Mar experience,” said Helena Carter, enrollment specialist at Del Mar. “School uniforms, lunches, field trips, and surf camps. Larger donations

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  • Outpost Nosara launches ‘Outpost Basic’

    Outpost Nosara launches ‘Outpost Basic’

    Outpost Nosara announced yesterday the launch of ‘Outpost Basic’, a stripped-down alternative for remote workers who don’t require air conditioning or stable internet. At a mere $4k annual membership fee, the new offering features dedicated barstools at La Ventanita with wifi coming from across the street. Early users have described the wi-fi signal as “pretty

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  • Board scanner in place at Baker entrance

    Board scanner in place at Baker entrance

    The mood was cheerful and light at the Baker entrance this morning as area surfers had their first encounter with the new NCA board scanning machine. Our alert readers will recall that the Nosara Conservation Alliance (NCA) last month – after nearly 12 years of research – finally identified coconut surf wax as the main

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  • Paltrow Deal Collapses, Burnham Vanishes, Local Children in Tears

    Paltrow Deal Collapses, Burnham Vanishes, Local Children in Tears

    Word began to spread through Guiones last night that all was not well with Gwynneth Paltrow’s landmark purchase of Surfing Nosara. By dawn, the four-million-dollar deal was in flames. We begin our reporting with a quick summary of overnight developments: Given the dizzying speed of these developments, Nosara Lately does not intend to speculate –

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  • GBC Tunnel Underway

    GBC Tunnel Underway

    Shrugging off the firestorm of criticism surrounding him, the guy from Garza spent the weekend digging out the entrance to what will soon be the tunnel beneath Guiones Beach Club – the all-important link in the new route from the Bodhi Tree turnoff to the beach. “My cousin was up here helping me on Friday

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  • Bodhi Tree Unveils Bold Plan to Air Tag All Guests

    Bodhi Tree Unveils Bold Plan to Air Tag All Guests

    Bodhi Tree announced today that beginning next month, they intend to AirTag all of their guests in a bold attempt to solve the persistent and somewhat embarrassing problem that nearly 30% of Bodhi Tree guests get lost while walking to the beach.  Many of these guests simply never come back – a situation that confuses

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