Opinion

  • I Paid 45$ to Touch Kyle Mitchri’s Chest Hair.

    I Paid 45$ to Touch Kyle Mitchri’s Chest Hair.

    And – spoiler alert – I booked a follow-up. Nosara Lately Consumer Report: The Kyle Mitchri Experience For many months now, whispers have swirled through Nosara about the Kyle Mitchri Chest Hair Experience – regarded as perhaps the hottest ticket in Nosara’s extensive Spiritual Marketplace. Both women and men have described the mini-sessions as “beyond

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  • Morphic Field Speaks Out

    Morphic Field Speaks Out

    Stung by the negative press coverage of its Impending Arrival in Guiones, the Morphic Field reached out to Nosara Lately yesterday afternoon with a request for a sit-down, hoping to clear the air. “We feel misunderstood”, said the Morphic Field. These words drifted up to us slowly through the liquid of our large black Magic

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  • Consumer Report: The Latrisha Yoni Steam Temple

    Consumer Report: The Latrisha Yoni Steam Temple

    I have to be honest with my readers. When told I was being sent out to test Latishas Yoni Steam Temple, Nosara’s ultimate Yoni experience – my emotions were mixed. As a Paltrow-certified Yoni Steam Practitioner myself, I looked forward to an impartial, professional reconnaissance. But as a sexually evolved woman with a deep appreciation

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  • Major Architectural Award to ‘Become Nosara’

    Major Architectural Award to ‘Become Nosara’

    ‘Become Nosara’, Nosara’s beloved Area-51 themed living complex, was yesterday awarded the prestigious Concrete Building Visible from Space (CBVS) award at the annual Comcon conference in Los Angeles.  Previous winners of the prize have included a football stadium in Brazil, a phosphorus mine in Western Sahara, and the seawall along the Thames, in central London.

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  • Between Two Palms: Conspiracy Edition

    Between Two Palms: Conspiracy Edition

    NL:  Hi everyone, glad you could make it. Today, we are going to be breaking down all the strange things that have been going on lately in Nosara, so we invited two of Nosara’s best-known conspiracy theorists in for a chat: Juan, the bartender at Howlers, and Pura Vida Andy. Juan, I know I saw

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  • K-Section Gem: 25 Beds, 1 Toilet, No Shower

    K-Section Gem: 25 Beds, 1 Toilet, No Shower

    Pressured by Del Mar tuitions, truck payments, and rising poke prices, local realtors have been scrambling to find new income streams to tide them over until 2036, when JD Vance will finish his second term and the local real estate market is expected to finally bounce back. Leading the way – as usual – is

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  • Organico to replace food bar with Subway kiosk

    Organico to replace food bar with Subway kiosk

    Trusted sources have informed Nosara Lately that Organico will close its doors for 24 hours on Christmas Day to carry out a complete rebranding of its hot food bar. Sources tell us that the food bar will re-emerge as a fully branded Subway kiosk, similar to what one finds out past gate 20 or 30

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  • NCA to establish plant medicine school in Pelada

    NCA to establish plant medicine school in Pelada

    It has not been lost on most of our faithful readers that plant medicine seems to be the new yoga here in Nosara – and clearly this has not been lost on the Nosara Conservation Alliance (NCA). Nosara Lately can now report that the NCA has decided to establish a Plant Medicine School in the

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  • Headshop Lawyer Adds “5-Minute Divorce”

    Headshop Lawyer Adds “5-Minute Divorce”

    Headshop Lawyer – top-rated locally on TripAdvisor for immigration papers, smoking accessories, and Delta 9 gummies – has now added a “5 Minute Express Divorce” package to her deep bench of legal and smoke-related products, noting that the “5 minutes” applies to qualified clients only. “That’s pretty much anyone who is building a house in

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