Opinion

  • Black Box Rebrands to Pink Box

    Black Box Rebrands to Pink Box

    The residents of North Guiones awoke yesterday morning to find their beloved local high-end 4×4 dealership, Black Box transformed into Pink Box – the luxury sex toy and vagina-scented candle boutique that North Guiones has long been demanding. Few imagined that it would be Gwyneth Paltrow herself who would answer their calls. Gwyneth Paltrow herself

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  • K-Section Gem: 25 Beds, 1 Toilet, No Shower

    K-Section Gem: 25 Beds, 1 Toilet, No Shower

    Pressured by Del Mar tuitions, truck payments, and rising poke prices, local realtors have been scrambling to find new income streams to tide them over until 2036, when JD Vance will finish his second term and the local real estate market is expected to finally bounce back. Leading the way – as usual – is

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  • Beach Frog Will Not Rebrand as Denny’s, actually

    Beach Frog Will Not Rebrand as Denny’s, actually

    The iconic Beach Frog lashed out at Nosara Lately today, saying that “there is no chance in hell”  that The Frog will be rebranded as a Denny’s restaurant. Threatening that their Dad would beat us up if we didn’t take it all back, they told us to retract our story  –  because you know,  Everyone

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  • NCA seeks to impose vegen menu option at all area chicharrones stands

    NCA seeks to impose vegen menu option at all area chicharrones stands

    Local Nosarans awoke today to the unexpected news that the Nosara Conservation Association (NCA) has expanded its range of authority to local chicharrónes stands.  A new directive spells out in no uncertain terms that vegan options will be required. Worried locals tell Nosara Lately that the newly mandated vegan options will probably spell the end

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  • Morphic Field Speaks Out

    Morphic Field Speaks Out

    Stung by the negative press coverage of its Impending Arrival in Guiones, the Morphic Field reached out to Nosara Lately yesterday afternoon with a request for a sit-down, hoping to clear the air. “We feel misunderstood”, said the Morphic Field. These words drifted up to us slowly through the liquid of our large black Magic

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  • Area Man Finishes Telling About his 29th Year

    Area Man Finishes Telling About his 29th Year

    Beloved local guy Henry Chapman finally wrapped up the story of his 29th year this last Friday night, with the final minutes of 1985 being quietly related to two girls from Tamarindo as they sat by the fire on the beach outside Perozah. The two girls, uncertain of what they had just experienced for the

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  • Area woman spotted in loose fitting clothing

    Area woman spotted in loose fitting clothing

    Nosara Lately has received reports that an area woman was seen wearing loose, non-revealing clothing at least twice this week. Details are hard to come by, and journalistic norms prevent us from revealing her identity. But Nosara Lately can confirm that the clothing in question was a pair of grey sweatpants. “It’s just so gross,”

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  • Consumer Report: The Latrisha Yoni Steam Temple

    Consumer Report: The Latrisha Yoni Steam Temple

    I have to be honest with my readers. When told I was being sent out to test Latishas Yoni Steam Temple, Nosara’s ultimate Yoni experience – my emotions were mixed. As a Paltrow-certified Yoni Steam Practitioner myself, I looked forward to an impartial, professional reconnaissance. But as a sexually evolved woman with a deep appreciation

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  • Price of avocados at Organico dips briefly

    Price of avocados at Organico dips briefly

    Alert K-Section residents were quick to take advantage of the situation yesterday when the price of avocados dipped briefly at beloved local market Organico. The reason for the price drop was unknown. Some speculated a mistake had been made on the sign. Others saw deeper forces at play, muttering about a certain area hotel and

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