• I Paid 45$ to Touch Kyle Mitchri’s Chest Hair.

    I Paid 45$ to Touch Kyle Mitchri’s Chest Hair.

    And – spoiler alert – I booked a follow-up. Nosara Lately Consumer Report: The Kyle Mitchri Experience For many months now, whispers have swirled through Nosara about the Kyle Mitchri Chest Hair Experience – regarded as perhaps the hottest ticket in Nosara’s extensive Spiritual Marketplace. Both women and men have described the mini-sessions as “beyond

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  • Area Man Finishes Telling About his 29th Year

    Area Man Finishes Telling About his 29th Year

    Beloved local guy Henry Chapman finally wrapped up the story of his 29th year this last Friday night, with the final minutes of 1985 being quietly related to two girls from Tamarindo as they sat by the fire on the beach outside Perozah. The two girls, uncertain of what they had just experienced for the

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  • Price of avocados at Organico dips briefly

    Price of avocados at Organico dips briefly

    Alert K-Section residents were quick to take advantage of the situation yesterday when the price of avocados dipped briefly at beloved local market Organico. The reason for the price drop was unknown. Some speculated a mistake had been made on the sign. Others saw deeper forces at play, muttering about a certain area hotel and

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  • Headshop Lawyer Adds “5-Minute Divorce”

    Headshop Lawyer Adds “5-Minute Divorce”

    Headshop Lawyer – top-rated locally on TripAdvisor for immigration papers, smoking accessories, and Delta 9 gummies – has now added a “5 Minute Express Divorce” package to her deep bench of legal and smoke-related products, noting that the “5 minutes” applies to qualified clients only. “That’s pretty much anyone who is building a house in

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  • Shanti Moonwater Special Report: Tuk-Tuk Hunk

    Shanti Moonwater Special Report: Tuk-Tuk Hunk

    By now, everybody knows who Tuk-Tuk Hunk is. I had been seeing him for months. At La bomba. At the Main entrance. Heading up the hill into Las Huacas. No tank top. His chest professionally oiled, forever just coming from a photoshoot – or – A Tuk-Tuk Hunk booking. On Tuk-Tuk-Hunk.com, his boyish looks and

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  • White Palms to become even more upscale and exclusive

    White Palms to become even more upscale and exclusive

    White Palms will begin construction next week of an experimental holographic jungle barrier that will completely conceal the upscale hotel. “You will really have to be in the know,” said managing director Giselle Cruz Peña. “The technology has finally caught up with our marketing strategy.” For several years now, White Palms has led the trend

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  • K-Section Gem: 25 Beds, 1 Toilet, No Shower

    K-Section Gem: 25 Beds, 1 Toilet, No Shower

    Pressured by Del Mar tuitions, truck payments, and rising poke prices, local realtors have been scrambling to find new income streams to tide them over until 2036, when JD Vance will finish his second term and the local real estate market is expected to finally bounce back. Leading the way – as usual – is

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  • Major Architectural Award to ‘Become Nosara’

    Major Architectural Award to ‘Become Nosara’

    ‘Become Nosara’, Nosara’s beloved Area-51 themed living complex, was yesterday awarded the prestigious Concrete Building Visible from Space (CBVS) award at the annual Comcon conference in Los Angeles.  Previous winners of the prize have included a football stadium in Brazil, a phosphorus mine in Western Sahara, and the seawall along the Thames, in central London.

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  • Consumer Report: The Latrisha Yoni Steam Temple

    Consumer Report: The Latrisha Yoni Steam Temple

    I have to be honest with my readers. When told I was being sent out to test Latishas Yoni Steam Temple, Nosara’s ultimate Yoni experience – my emotions were mixed. As a Paltrow-certified Yoni Steam Practitioner myself, I looked forward to an impartial, professional reconnaissance. But as a sexually evolved woman with a deep appreciation

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