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  • Beach Frog Will Not Rebrand as Denny’s, actually

    Beach Frog Will Not Rebrand as Denny’s, actually

    The iconic Beach Frog lashed out at Nosara Lately today, saying that “there is no chance in hell”  that The Frog will be rebranded as a Denny’s restaurant. Threatening that their Dad would beat us up if we didn’t take it all back, they told us to retract our story  –  because you know,  Everyone

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  • Black Box Rebrands to Pink Box

    Black Box Rebrands to Pink Box

    The residents of North Guiones awoke yesterday morning to find their beloved local high-end 4×4 dealership, Black Box transformed into Pink Box – the luxury sex toy and vagina-scented candle boutique that North Guiones has long been demanding. Few imagined that it would be Gwyneth Paltrow herself who would answer their calls. Gwyneth Paltrow herself

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  • Headshop Lawyer Adds “5-Minute Divorce”

    Headshop Lawyer Adds “5-Minute Divorce”

    Headshop Lawyer – top-rated locally on TripAdvisor for immigration papers, smoking accessories, and Delta 9 gummies – has now added a “5 Minute Express Divorce” package to her deep bench of legal and smoke-related products, noting that the “5 minutes” applies to qualified clients only. “That’s pretty much anyone who is building a house in

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  • Price of avocados at Organico dips briefly

    Price of avocados at Organico dips briefly

    Alert K-Section residents were quick to take advantage of the situation yesterday when the price of avocados dipped briefly at beloved local market Organico. The reason for the price drop was unknown. Some speculated a mistake had been made on the sign. Others saw deeper forces at play, muttering about a certain area hotel and

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  • K-Section Gem: 25 Beds, 1 Toilet, No Shower

    K-Section Gem: 25 Beds, 1 Toilet, No Shower

    Pressured by Del Mar tuitions, truck payments, and rising poke prices, local realtors have been scrambling to find new income streams to tide them over until 2036, when JD Vance will finish his second term and the local real estate market is expected to finally bounce back. Leading the way – as usual – is

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  • I Paid 45$ to Touch Kyle Mitchri’s Chest Hair.

    I Paid 45$ to Touch Kyle Mitchri’s Chest Hair.

    And – spoiler alert – I booked a follow-up. Nosara Lately Consumer Report: The Kyle Mitchri Experience For many months now, whispers have swirled through Nosara about the Kyle Mitchri Chest Hair Experience – regarded as perhaps the hottest ticket in Nosara’s extensive Spiritual Marketplace. Both women and men have described the mini-sessions as “beyond

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  • Organico to replace food bar with Subway kiosk

    Organico to replace food bar with Subway kiosk

    Trusted sources have informed Nosara Lately that Organico will close its doors for 24 hours on Christmas Day to carry out a complete rebranding of its hot food bar. Sources tell us that the food bar will re-emerge as a fully branded Subway kiosk, similar to what one finds out past gate 20 or 30

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  • Lobo To Lead Redesign of Alex’s Fish Market

    Lobo To Lead Redesign of Alex’s Fish Market

    Highly regarded Nosara design firm Lobo confirmed today that they have been chosen for the prestigious redesign of Alex’s Fish Market, one of the most beloved and authentic landmarks in Garza – and soon to be the only remaining authentic spot in Garza. As Nosara Lately reported last week, the recent Outpost Nosara purchase of

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  • Shanti Moonwater Special Report: Tuk-Tuk Hunk

    Shanti Moonwater Special Report: Tuk-Tuk Hunk

    By now, everybody knows who Tuk-Tuk Hunk is. I had been seeing him for months. At La bomba. At the Main entrance. Heading up the hill into Las Huacas. No tank top. His chest professionally oiled, forever just coming from a photoshoot – or – A Tuk-Tuk Hunk booking. On Tuk-Tuk-Hunk.com, his boyish looks and

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