Nosara Lately has learned that the Nosara Conservation Alliance (NCA) intends to monitor and fine beachgoers who send Instagram posts from Guiones beach at sunset.  As most locals know, the NCA has been empowered by hidden forces that no one understands to cleanse the Maritime Zone of all non-turtle-related activity.

“Over the last six months, we have used a special grant funding of nearly 200k to analyze the Instagram traffic emanating from Guiones beach each day between 5 and 6 pm. The overwhelming majority of these posts are of sunsets, horse riders, beautiful people, and girls who don’t actually surf – and around 60 percent of these posts end up on what can be considered identity or brand-building pages on Instagram,” said NCA vice president and full-time buzz killer Irene Villalobos. “As such, these posts are to be regarded as commercial activity which – by definition – threatens the turtle migration on Guiones beach.”

Asked for his legal opinion on this latest move by the NCA,  local activist lawyer and legendary Facebook shitposter Juan Carlos Rodríguez Vargas said laconically, “That’s the dumbest fucking thing I have ever heard. What a shitshow. You can’t make this up.”

Vargas went on to point out that in the latest iPhones, all sunset photos are automatically enhanced by algorithms specifically geared towards Instagram. “No pixel from any Guiones sunset actually ends up on Instagram. I think the NCA is gonna have a tough time with this one.”