World

  • Prendas Loria tapped to design KLM lounge at Nosara airport

    Prendas Loria tapped to design KLM lounge at Nosara airport

    In a move that no one saw coming, Donald Loria has been tapped to design the new frequent flyer lounge at Nosara Airport. Nosara Lately broke the news last month that KLM will be extending the runway approximately 800 feet in order to accommodate their new nonstop service between Nosara and Amsterdam. The Nosara airport

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  • Close Call But What a Photo

    Close Call But What a Photo

    A young child snapped a picture of a crocodile yesterday afternoon on the beach in Guoines with her mother’s phone, while her mother swam in the tidepools, completely unaware. The young girl composed the shot carefully – even remembering to drill down and activate the large-animal-in-sunlight-filter  –  and gazed for some time into the screen

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  • Local hotel to beome ICE detention facility

    Local hotel to beome ICE detention facility

    Everyone who lives in this town knows the rainy season can be economically challenging. Nosara Lately can now confirm recent rumors that an unidentified local hotel will indeed be converted to an ICE detention facility during next year’s rainy season, adding valuable jobs and income to Nosara during those critical months. “It’s a natural fit

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  • Instagram posts from Maritime Zone will be monitored, fined.

    Instagram posts from Maritime Zone will be monitored, fined.

    Nosara Lately has learned that the Nosara Conservation Alliance (NCA) intends to monitor and fine beachgoers who send Instagram posts from Guiones beach at sunset.  As most locals know, the NCA has been empowered by hidden forces that no one understands to cleanse the Maritime Zone of all non-turtle-related activity. “Over the last six months,

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  • Five Journalists Perish in Violent Mid-Air Explosion

    Five Journalists Perish in Violent Mid-Air Explosion

    Unfathomable tragedy struck Nosara today, when the entire staff of Nosara Lately, beloved local newspaper, perished in a horrifying mid-air plane explosion over South Guiones. (Please note: this report, and all of today’s reports, have been generated by Wisdom AI, due to the death of all of Nosara Lately’s journalists. Wisdom AI has scrupulously sought

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  • Remote-Controlled Attack Dogs Roaming Freely In K

    Remote-Controlled Attack Dogs Roaming Freely In K

    K-Section residents awoke yesterday to the disquieting sight of 27 attack dogs roaming freely through the streets of their quiet, middle-class neighborhood. In a cost-cutting move that they forgot to tell anyone about, the Neighbor Up the Hill had fired all their dog handlers and doubled down on K-9’s, equipping each dog with an AirTag

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  • Bondi: “The Free K-Section Rebels Will Be Destroyed”

    Bondi: “The Free K-Section Rebels Will Be Destroyed”

    In a packed press conference today in Washington, DC, Attorney General Pam Bondi – armed for no apparent reason with an automatic weapon – lashed out against “the Free-K-Section Rebel Alliance” – calling it a “clear and present danger” that “will be destroyed.” She then went on to link the Free K-Section Rebel (FKR) movement

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  • South Guiones Vanishes, No One Notices

    South Guiones Vanishes, No One Notices

    At some point during the torrential rains of the last three days, the entire settlement of South Guiones was swept into the ocean. Exactly when this happened remains uncertain, as no one actually noticed it until today, when Gobi did not show up at Tuesday market with her gluten-free tortillas, pastas, and breads – plunging

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  • Catastrophic Decline: Only 400 DJs Left in Nosara

    Catastrophic Decline: Only 400 DJs Left in Nosara

    The United Nations Subcommittee on Indigenous Cultures voted in a special emergency session yesterday to add the last 400 DJs in Nosara to the UN Watchlist of Endangered Native Populations, saying at a press conference that Nosara’s once-thriving DJ population “is under attack from all sides.” The sale of Perozah in Garza – a hallowed

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