World

  • Local hotel to beome ICE detention facility

    Local hotel to beome ICE detention facility

    Everyone who lives in this town knows the rainy season can be economically challenging. Nosara Lately can now confirm recent rumors that an unidentified local hotel will indeed be converted to an ICE detention facility during next year’s rainy season, adding valuable jobs and income to Nosara during those critical months. “It’s a natural fit

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  • Bondi: “The Free K-Section Rebels Will Be Destroyed”

    Bondi: “The Free K-Section Rebels Will Be Destroyed”

    In a packed press conference today in Washington, DC, Attorney General Pam Bondi – armed for no apparent reason with an automatic weapon – lashed out against “the Free-K-Section Rebel Alliance” – calling it a “clear and present danger” that “will be destroyed.” She then went on to link the Free K-Section Rebel (FKR) movement

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  • Shots Fired: Free K-Section Rebels Attacked

    Shots Fired: Free K-Section Rebels Attacked

    A Free K-Section (FKR) supply convoy moving through El Bosque came under fire today by unknown paramilitary forces. No one was injured in the chaotic encounter, but one Rebel quad sustained bullet damage, and a mobile Starlink unit was damaged by a crate of avocados that came loose during the mayhem. The rebel convoy –

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  • Bodhi Tree expansion to include private helicopter pad

    Bodhi Tree expansion to include private helicopter pad

    Nosara Lately reporters were sniffing around up at Bodhi Tree this past weekend and can now confirm that the aging steel and concrete monolith from the early days of Bodhi Tree – which most of the town thought was being removed, is being refabricated into a private helicopter landing pad for Bodhi Tree guests. “It

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  • Five Journalists Perish in Violent Mid-Air Explosion

    Five Journalists Perish in Violent Mid-Air Explosion

    Unfathomable tragedy struck Nosara today, when the entire staff of Nosara Lately, beloved local newspaper, perished in a horrifying mid-air plane explosion over South Guiones. (Please note: this report, and all of today’s reports, have been generated by Wisdom AI, due to the death of all of Nosara Lately’s journalists. Wisdom AI has scrupulously sought

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  • Pelada to use windmills against dengue

    Pelada to use windmills against dengue

    Peladans will go to the polls this week to decide whether three large windmills should be built in low-lying areas near Olgas. The proposed windmills would increase the airflow across lower Pelada, and with the increased airflow and turbulence induced by the traditional Dutch blades, both biting and fornicating opportunities for local mosquitoes are expected

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  • Gondola Naming Contest Triggers Culture War

    Gondola Naming Contest Triggers Culture War

    A culture war has erupted in Guiones over the naming of the new UN-funded gondola that will link K-Section to Pelada, with stops at Olo Alaia, Howlers, and El Chivos. A light-hearted contest to name the Gondola is rapidly turning into a referendum on the very soul of this town. Casa Vitality, the original driving

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  • Nicoya to cap plant medicine offerings in Nosara

    Nicoya to cap plant medicine offerings in Nosara

    In the recent council meeting covered by our hard-hitting reporter Richard Leisure, it emerged that Nosara intends to limit how many plant medicines can be offered in Nosara. “It’s a real problem,” said mayoral candidate Randall Gutiérrez López. “Many local therapists and healers have been secretly reaching out to me. With so many plant medicines

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  • Catastrophic Decline: Only 400 DJs Left in Nosara

    Catastrophic Decline: Only 400 DJs Left in Nosara

    The United Nations Subcommittee on Indigenous Cultures voted in a special emergency session yesterday to add the last 400 DJs in Nosara to the UN Watchlist of Endangered Native Populations, saying at a press conference that Nosara’s once-thriving DJ population “is under attack from all sides.” The sale of Perozah in Garza – a hallowed

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