In a bizarre turn of events at a Washington DC press conference yesterday, strangely hot MAGA chick and US Attorney General Pamela Bondi listed Nosara – along with Chicago, Portland, Los Angeles, and 15 other cities –  as an Out of Control Hellhole where People Eat Dogs. (OCHPED)

The OCHPED designation is significant: so far, the Trump administration has deployed troops in over 70% of the cities that have received the OCHPED designation. When our Washington correspondent pressed Bondi by pointing out that Nosara was not located on American soil, Bondi shot back, “Well, neither were those Venezuelan drug boats, right?”

Kinda hot, right?

Nosara Lately went by the Nosara Police station this morning to check if there was any truth to Bondi’s accusations, but local law enforcement had no information about people eating dogs. One policeman mentioned that everyone in Nosara knows not to let their dogs hang around a chicharrones stand. But that is different, we all agreed.

Our investigation concluded, we stopped by Mi Abuelo and enjoyed a fabulous burrito, along with a just-scary-enough Sansa landing, followed by Someone Very Rich arriving in a private black turboprop. Another beautiful day in Nosara – with no sign of people eating dogs or armed troops arriving. But the news from Washington did give Nosara Lately an excuse to pull up the AI and type in, “give me a smokin’ hot pic of  AG Pamela Bondi wearing a slinky black dress in the White House pressroom”. We trust our readers enjoyed the result.

On a more serious note: several alert readers are pointing out that Pamela Bondi bears a striking resemblance to our own Tantric Sexuality and Sexual Healing correspondent, Shanti Moonwater, also strangely hot. Nosara Lately wants to take this opportunity to say that – while we recognize this resemblance – it is entirely coincidental, and there is no direct genetic link between the two women that we know of.

Shoulder the burden of active citizenry homie, leave a comment