Nosara Lately has now learned that a 32-year-old massage therapist was arrested yesterday for violating a recently passed Nosara ordinance that specifies which greetings can be used in local WhatsApp chats.

For our readers who missed the story, local WhatsApp users who post to group chats must now begin their post with some variation of “Greetings, beautiful Nosara fam!”  Approved variations include “Hello beloved community!”  and “Hola beautiful breathing humans!” Substitutions are allowed, for example, “Greetings, beautiful loving community!” and of course, “Hola beautiful fam,” followed by pretty much anything.

The massage therapist arrested yesterday allegedly did not even hat-tip the venerated “fam” component of the greeting. According to several people interviewed, he violated the space of at least three chats by launching right into his discounted rainy season offering. Making the matter worse, he failed to combine his offering with cacao, microdosing, or shooting with bows and arrows.

“It’s just sad,” said one local Family Constellations teacher. “Everyone felt so exposed, so unprotected. I’m glad the police got him.”

The mood in the various Nosara Whatsapp group chats this evening is subdued and reflective, with quiet, heartfelt messages of support and starry purple emojis going back and forth, along with a posting that offers a quad rental over Christmas, and a dog looking for a foster home.