Nosara Lately has learned from well-placed sources within ICE that rolling blackouts in K-Section will be ICE’s new tool for combating the frequent power outages in Nosara.

“It’s only fair,” said ICE spokesperson and Nicoya municipal council member Yolian Ortiz Solano. “K-Section people are richer than everyone else. And they are mostly never here anyhow.”

The K-Section WhatsApp chat was immediately ablaze with chatter, as might be expected. Many wanted to make it clear that they were here, but just did not go out as much as they used to since Marlin Bill’s shut down. Others complained that the real problem was all the new houses being built. But by late in the evening, calm had returned, with just a few posts asking if Kolbi was out for anyone else, and one photo of a lost dog that everyone knew but no one knew whose it was.