Kenneth Mactavish, well-known local surfer and sour-ass old guy, repeated his assertion last week that he got here before everyone else.

“I remember how it was,” he said. “You would not recognize it. It used to take four days to get from Garza to the Guilded Iguana. There was a big rock in the middle of the road. Guiones was not even here yet.”

“It’s been ruined. I don’t even recognize it anymore.”

He then looked around as if to see if anyone was listening, but no one really was. So he wandered off.

Local dog walker and septuagenarian surfer Regina Halson – who pretended to be deploying a poop bag so as to avoid getting drawn into conversation with Mactavish –  rolled her eyes and said, “If I hear that story one more fuckin time …. ”

Nosara Lately must add to this story that we have been unable to verify Mactavish’s claims, either concerning his First Residence status, or the historical particulars of the early journeys between Garza and Guiones.