Nosara Lately has received reports that an area woman was seen wearing loose, non-revealing clothing at least twice this week. Details are hard to come by, and journalistic norms prevent us from revealing her identity. But Nosara Lately can confirm that the clothing in question was a pair of grey sweatpants.

“It’s just so gross,” agreed a smattering of well-tanned, white-toothed 20-somethings lounging around a taco truck in downtown Guiones.  “We didn’t see it, but we heard about it.”

Nosara Lately stopped by the police station to see if anything was going to be done, but the station was locked and empty. Just two dogs sleeping in the sun.