In a packed press conference today in Washington, DC, Attorney General Pam Bondi – armed for no apparent reason with an automatic weapon – lashed out against “the Free-K-Section Rebel Alliance” – calling it a “clear and present danger” that “will be destroyed.”
She then went on to link the Free K-Section Rebel (FKR) movement to drug smuggling, child trafficking, unregistered voting, prescription drug prices, and Nicolas Maduro, president of Venezuela. Reporters in the room, totally turned on by her angry-hot-chick-in-a-silk-blouse- with-an-automatic-weapon thing, were paying no attention to whatever it was she was going on about, leaving an unimpressed 23-year-old NPR intern from Morning Edition as the only person in America who actually heard what Bondi said. “Tami, I have to tell you – it was one of the strangest things I have ever heard. She even said something about crocodiles.”
Alert readers will be comforted by the news that there was no mention of Nosarans eating dogs, which was Bondi’s previous beef with our beloved little town. But what both the press corps and the NPR intern both missed was a question near the end of the chaotic press conference from Janes Weekly, the British military journal, asking Bondi about rumors that an entire pocket battalion of the Texas National Guard appeared to have gone missing – with several wives telling local TV stations in Texas that their husbands had ‘gone out to Walmart to get charcoal and some weed killer’ and never returned.
“Right,” said Bondi. “ ‘Cuz we lose battalions all the time. Wait, lemme check my pockets. Maybe there’s a battalion in there. Oh wait, I don’t have any pockets. Just this –“
Bondi raised her weapon and swung it towards the press corps. The whole room dove for the floor – and the question went unanswered. But it was hot. Crazy hot.
When word of Bondi’s accusations about the Free K-Section Rebels reached the rebels at their encampment near El Bosque, they seemed perplexed.
“Drug smuggling and vote rigging? Look. All we want is self-governance. We want leaf-blowers restricted to Mondays. And an invite to the Rich Burnham podcast,” said K-Section resident and diversified Vanguard portfolio investor Patrick Hansen. “I just spent the last three days trying to get my Chase card upgraded to triple points. Someone’s gotta tell Bondi she’s got the wrong guys.”
We wanted to get a comment from local observer and conspiracy theorist Pura Vida Andy, who just yesterday, during a Nosara Lately ‘Between Two Palms’ interview session, drew a direct line between Bondi and the missing Texas battalion.
We told Andy about the chaotic press conference and the accusations against the FKR, and Andy just snorted. “Bondi’s doing her bait and switch thing. A couple of those FKR guys are my neighbors. They couldn’t fight their way up to Organico if they tried. And she completely dodged the question about the Texas National Guard.”
“Waving the gun, I bet that was hot,” said Andy. “Wish I had seen it. But hot crazy chick is Bondi’s go-to. Works every time.”
Saber-rattling in DC. Pamela Bondi, armed and hot. False flags on the FKR. No clarification on the missing battalion. And her ominous words about a ‘cancer’ that would be cut out of Costa Rica – ‘one way or another.’
Oh reader, if you sense the sky beginning to darken just ever so slightly around our little seaside town…. You are not alone.
And this time – for once –
It might not be the Morphic Field.
