The rebel flags of Free K-Section – with their Starlink logo and Whatsapp chat q-code – were fluttering in the wind yesterday when Nosara Lately was granted access to the newly established rebel enclave near El Bosque. Toyota pickups with surf racks and barrels of molasses were parked menacingly near several orange traffic cones that bore a suspicious resemblance to the cones stolen from Organico several days ago.
Our purpose in visiting was to ascertain the mood of the rebels, who have shocked the rest of Guiones with their demands for autonomy. Among the demands they released yesterday: a dedicated number to ICE for power outages, a moratorium against stupid tourists on rental quads, gasoline leaf blowers being restricted to Mondays, and an invitation to appear on Rich Burnham’s podcast.
We asked the rebel spokesperson – longtime K-resident and retired Google investor Tim Ducharme- about the demand to appear on Burnham’s podcast. “We want to get our message out,” said Dreyfuss. “Also, he dissed my sceptic system a couple of years ago. So there’s a lot to talk about, y’know?”
Asked about their political objectives, Dreyfuss said, “We’re not alone. It’s happening all over the world. Ethnic minorities are tired of being trodden down by unchosen masters. Now it’s happening here. You think we’re the only ones? Have you talked to the beachfront owners in North Guiones? They’re even more fed up than we are. I’m telling you, man, it’s like that Dylan song. You better start swimming or you’ll sink like a stone.”
Nosara Lately can confirm that the Free K-Section rebels have established an ATV supply line through El Bosque to Organico, El Pueblo, and the Chinese supermarket, and that these supply lines are holding – for now. However, beyond their initial list of demands, the rebel strategy seems opaque. Much of Guiones seems unaware of the unrest in K-Section. With no real functioning government in either Nosara or Nicoya, it is unclear who the rebels will negotiate with. Several of the rebels have their properties listed with Surfing Nosara, and it is unclear whether this uprising will help or hurt their sales prospects in what – by all accounts – is a down market.
Nosara Lately will keep our loyal readers updated on this highly fluid situation as it unfolds.
