Local News

  • Panic in Guiones as Morphic Field Approaches

    Panic in Guiones as Morphic Field Approaches

    The mood in downtown Guiones grew increasingly chaotic today as area residents and local business owners rushed to prepare for an oncoming Morphic Field event. Plywood sheets were going up on the windows at Surfing Nosara. A Pura Vida property management truck was being edged into place to protect the Pharmacy.  The National Rental Car

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  • Bodhi Tree Unveils Bold Plan to Air Tag All Guests

    Bodhi Tree Unveils Bold Plan to Air Tag All Guests

    Bodhi Tree announced today that beginning next month, they intend to AirTag all of their guests in a bold attempt to solve the persistent and somewhat embarrassing problem that nearly 30% of Bodhi Tree guests get lost while walking to the beach.  Many of these guests simply never come back – a situation that confuses

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  • Jaime Anton Strikes Back

    Jaime Anton Strikes Back

    Stung by the hack of ‘Del Mar Moms’, local coder and feared white-hat OG Jaime Anton struck back hard this morning, releasing “Area Man” – a new app that lets area residents avoid well-known Area Man Kenny McTavish. “I was so tired of running into him, ” said Jaime. “And then Maggie said to me

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  • Prominent Nosara Lawyer Sues Entire Country

    Prominent Nosara Lawyer Sues Entire Country

    Legendary local attorney Andrés González yesterday filed suit against the entire nation of Costa Rica, charging that  Costa Rica has ‘delayed long enough’ the inevitable switch to English as Costa Rica’s national language. In a masterfully written seven page brief to the Supreme Court, arguing on behalf of local sour-ass K-Section guy Kenneth Mctavish, the

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  • Become Nosara Battles Paranormal Forces

    Become Nosara Battles Paranormal Forces

    For nearly a year now, rumors of paranormal activity have swirled around Become Nosara, the Area 51-themed living complex just south of Guiones. Yesterday, hard evidence suddenly emerged. El Favorito door guard Héctor Sandoval Cerdas, who lives directly across the national road from Become Nosara, received a Ring door camera from his cousin Jose as

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  • Gwynneth Paltrow Buys Surfing Nosara Media Empire

    Gwynneth Paltrow Buys Surfing Nosara Media Empire

    Nosarans woke this morning to the surreal news that Gwynneth Paltrow has bought both the Surfing Nosara building and the Rich Burnham media empire, consisting of Rich Burnham Podcast, This Week in Nosara, and Bearded Guy does Surf Check. Details are still emerging, but sources within Surfing Nosara have confirmed the following: The Surfing Nosara

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  • Perozah to Become Conference Center

    Perozah to Become Conference Center

    In a move sure to disrupt the traditional full-moon celebrations of local indigenous tribes, Outpost Nosara has purchased both Perozah and Alex’s Fish Market in Garza. Perozah will be renamed the “Garza International Trade and Conference Center”, while Alex’s name will remain unchanged. “It’s a big day for both organizations,” said Brad Johannson, CEO of

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  • UN backs Casa Vitality Gondola with 2M USD

    UN backs Casa Vitality Gondola with 2M USD

    Nosarans awoke this morning to yet another mind-bending development in the local Gondola war between Bodhi Tree and the grass-roots business alliance assembled by Casa Vitality. Our correspondent in Brussels filed this report over telegram, due to yesterday’s 5.9 earthquake that cut Nosara off from the outside world. BEGIN  UN pledges 200 million to Casa

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  • Paltrow Deal Collapses, Burnham Vanishes, Local Children in Tears

    Paltrow Deal Collapses, Burnham Vanishes, Local Children in Tears

    Word began to spread through Guiones last night that all was not well with Gwynneth Paltrow’s landmark purchase of Surfing Nosara. By dawn, the four-million-dollar deal was in flames. We begin our reporting with a quick summary of overnight developments: Given the dizzying speed of these developments, Nosara Lately does not intend to speculate –

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