Legendary K-Section OG and dog walker Maggie Hansworth was spotted yesterday near Green Sanctuary with a record-breaking 19 dogs on leash. Several of the dogs were missing legs, and one was pretty much refusing to walk at all – but as K-Section locals know, this is standard fare for Maggie.

We were about to ask Maggie for a few dog walking tips, thinking it would make a good fluff piece to give our readers a break from the normal hard-hitting journalism that Nosara Lately is known for – but Maggie was having none of it. “What the hell is up with that Gondola thing?” she demanded of our reporter. “Don’t they understand that the monkeys are gonna be all over those cables?”

Maggie was cutting right to the heart of the matter. Bodhi Tree has made it clear that their Gondola tower will be guarded by the same well-tuned security perimeter as the rest of the property –  consisting of one nervous-looking young tico and one attack dog every 50 meters. However, monkey prevention at the other tower locations is still unclear. At the proposed Casa Vitality midstation, the Gondola tower will rise directly out of the new crocodile refuge – one of many underappreciated, visionary details in the Casa Vitality plan. However, the monkey defense perimeter for the Baker beach tower is still being debated.

Sources have told Nosara Lately that the dark and mysterious forces that run a certain hotel and pretty much everything else in Nosara had already been planning to relocate Franco the parking guy down to the Baker entrance, to put him in charge of the NCA board scanning machine. Many locals that Nosara Lately has talked to express the opinion that just giving Franco an air rifle is a good enough plan. We shared this juicy, unpublished gossip with Maggie, and she snorted with laughter.

“Franco is never gonna leave Main. That’s a pipe dream. You remember when he had a heart attack or whatever that was a couple years ago? He was back out there like, three days later.”

Maggie’s 19 dogs were by now growing restless. Our dreams of a light and easy fluff piece for our readers lay in ashes around our feet. We said our goodbyes to Maggie, and off she went, the three-legged dogs – surprisingly – leading the way.