In a move sure to disrupt the traditional full-moon celebrations of local indigenous tribes, Outpost Nosara has purchased both Perozah and Alex’s Fish Market in Garza. Perozah will be renamed the “Garza International Trade and Conference Center”, while Alex’s name will remain unchanged.
“It’s a big day for both organizations,” said Brad Johannson, CEO of Outpost Nosara. “We see the Garza Conference Center as the first step in the inevitable total gentrification of Garza. But we really want to preserve the authentic feel of Garza, so we bought Alex’s also. We intend to keep Alex’s exactly as it is. We might put in a wine bar, though. 17 freezers aren’t really necessary.”
Johnson went on to say that several major corporations have already penciled in team-building and wellness weeks at the new center, including Hewlett-Packard, Salesforce, and Bank of America.
Reaction was swift from Nosara’s more than 500 local DJs, who bemoan the loss of yet another local venue. “First it was Marlin Bills – now this,” said one despondent DJ. “There’s less than 35 ecstatic dances in Nosara each week. That’s just not enough work to go around. I got Del Mar tuition to pay.”
Sources from inside Alex’s fish market tell Nosara Lately that the DJ turmoil will not affect legendary Perozah DJ and former LA Lakers forward Hawk, who has been retained by the new organization to lead the planned ABBA-themed meet-and-greets at all major events. “I’ve been expanding my zone lately,” said Hawk. “People who pigeonhole me just don’t understand me, or my music.”
Nosara Lately can confirm Hawk’s quiet, unnoticed evolution. Several weeks ago, we caught Hawk’s happy hour set at Bodhi Tree. It was a tour de force in relaxing background music under twinkly lights that blew holes in our ideas of what dinner music could be.
Responding to charges that nearly 500 DJs would be put out of work by his move, Johnson pointed out that there were nearly 500 yoga teachers, breathwork instructors, and soundbath leaders in Nosara, so changing Perozah into a wellness center would actually have zero net impact on the local economy. “We are already in discussion with the best of the best. Jill, Ceibo, and let’s see… there’s some woman named followyourdharma on Instagram – do you have her WhatsApp? Still need to call her.”
Asked for comment, Alex smiled broadly and said the wine bar would not be a problem. “Only 8 of the freezers work. I’m telling them, wine bar is thinking too small. This place should have a dance floor, like Black Marlin.”
