Nosara Lately can now confirm that advanced-stage engineering drawings have come to light, showing what appears to be a gondola system linking Bodhi Tree to the beach.
The engineering tube containing the drawings was accidentally left behind by an unidentified man at the Organico food bar. “He asked for kale in his pokebowl, but then went for mixto,” said our source in Organico. She was unable or unwilling to provide any more details.
A gondola to the beach would offer obvious advantages to Bodhi Tree. In recent years, a staggering number of guests have gone missing while attempting to find the beach. Many inexplicably turn left along the way and proceed uphill for miles, becoming lost in El Bosque, before emerging – traumatized – at the Blue Spirit reception or in Garza.
Confidential sources high in the Bodhi Tree organization tell this publication that over the past few years, Bodhi Tree has grown increasingly worried about the notoriously unstable part of K section, which their guests must walk through in order to reach the beach. Our source – who avoids the route because of its notorious reputation – said “Guests have encountered dog walkers, watermelon trucks, pool cleaners on motos – and some even return deeply traumatized by their encounter with a large mural of the Silver Surfer, reportedly on an iron gate somewhere.”
“I mean, put yourself in their place,” said another employee, looking up from one of the 17 matching creme-colored beach cruisers he was washing. “Here they are at Bodhi Tree, and they can’t even go to the beach without getting molasses on their sandals. A gondola solves all of this.”
Several Bodhi old-timers are reportedly pressing Bodhi tree to link the gondola all the way up to the Oceana shala. “I’ve been walking up those steps to Oceana for years,” said one absolutely ripped woman in her 70s. “It sucks.”
Nosara Lately also has learned that Casa Vitality is in late stage discussions with Bodhi Tree to become the needed mid-station for the Gondola. Neither Bodhi Tree nor Casa Vitality could be reached for comment at the time of publication.
