Local News

  • Local massage therapist arrested for ‘deeply offensive’ Whatsapp post

    Local massage therapist arrested for ‘deeply offensive’ Whatsapp post

    Nosara Lately has now learned that a 32-year-old massage therapist was arrested yesterday for violating a recently passed Nosara ordinance that specifies which greetings can be used in local WhatsApp chats. For our readers who missed the story, local WhatsApp users who post to group chats must now begin their post with some variation of

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  • Pelada to use windmills against dengue

    Pelada to use windmills against dengue

    Peladans will go to the polls this week to decide whether three large windmills should be built in low-lying areas near Olgas. The proposed windmills would increase the airflow across lower Pelada, and with the increased airflow and turbulence induced by the traditional Dutch blades, both biting and fornicating opportunities for local mosquitoes are expected

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  • New gondola to link Bodhi Tree to Baker entrance

    New gondola to link Bodhi Tree to Baker entrance

    Nosara Lately can now confirm that advanced-stage engineering drawings have come to light, showing what appears to be a gondola system linking Bodhi Tree to the beach. The engineering tube containing the drawings was accidentally left behind by an unidentified man at the Organico food bar. “He asked for kale in his pokebowl, but then

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  • NCA to establish plant medicine school in Pelada

    NCA to establish plant medicine school in Pelada

    It has not been lost on most of our faithful readers that plant medicine seems to be the new yoga here in Nosara – and clearly this has not been lost on the Nosara Conservation Alliance (NCA). Nosara Lately can now report that the NCA has decided to establish a Plant Medicine School in the

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  • Area man says he got here before everyone else

    Area man says he got here before everyone else

    Kenneth Mactavish, well-known local surfer and sour-ass old guy, repeated his assertion last week that he got here before everyone else. “I remember how it was,” he said. “You would not recognize it. It used to take four days to get from Garza to the Guilded Iguana. There was a big rock in the middle

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  • Speed cameras to be installed in K-Section

    Speed cameras to be installed in K-Section

    Reports from trusted sources indicate to Nosara Lately that speed cameras will be installed in K-Section, some as soon as this December. Or possibly a couple of years from now. Local K-Section residents contacted for comment had mixed opinions. “It’s about damn time,” said one famously grumpy B&B owner, known throughout K-Section for the Omaha

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  • ICE to begin rolling blackouts in K-section

    ICE to begin rolling blackouts in K-section

    Nosara Lately has learned from well-placed sources within ICE that rolling blackouts in K-Section will be ICE’s new tool for combating the frequent power outages in Nosara. “It’s only fair,” said ICE spokesperson and Nicoya municipal council member Yolian Ortiz Solano. “K-Section people are richer than everyone else. And they are mostly never here anyhow.”

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  • Instagram posts from Maritime Zone will be monitored, fined.

    Instagram posts from Maritime Zone will be monitored, fined.

    Nosara Lately has learned that the Nosara Conservation Alliance (NCA) intends to monitor and fine beachgoers who send Instagram posts from Guiones beach at sunset.  As most locals know, the NCA has been empowered by hidden forces that no one understands to cleanse the Maritime Zone of all non-turtle-related activity. “Over the last six months,

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  • K-Section loses cultural fixture

    K-Section loses cultural fixture

    Many of our faithful readers have long wondered why K-Section gets coated in molasses all dry season long, while North Guiones turns into a dusty Algerian hellhole.  Nosara Lately can now confirm that a brazen operation by the Nosara Police in cooperation with the Nosara Conservation Alliance (NCA) has located the missing North Guoines molasses

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